Gravity Boots

My feet are both planted so firm on the ground

My toes have been growing some roots

With my head in the clouds I feel the world spinning ‘round

Thank God for these gravity boots

I dreamed I should name them and awoke from a slumber

To christen one Logic and the other one Reason

Though they should respond better to Tweedledum and Tweedledummer

They won’t move at all when I set out to tease them

These gravity boots provide plenty of ballast

To travel the material plane

But to fly on the ground may be much too fast

For my feet to catch up with my brain

To fly on the ground—could it really be wrong?

If so then I’ll just sail away

I’ll search all the seas to find me a song

To balance the night and the day

I’ll dive to the depths and explore the whole bottom

To see if these boots serve me well

I might as well use ‘em as long as I’ve got ‘em

Do I need them is what I can’t tell

For Logic and Reason they walk a straight line

And these boots they cannot hardly float

And to fly on the ground would be most insane

If my feet can’t catch up with my brain

Thomas Hubbard (c. 1990)

The Music and Musings of a Mad Mystic